


Gender is the Night

by g_xlatea



Category: Grojband
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Gender Issues, Kinda, Misogyny, Sexism, Trans Corey, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:54:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 768
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24845635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g_xlatea/pseuds/g_xlatea
Summary: An introspective exploration of different characters and their individual relationships with genderOrMe doing my favourite thing and ranting bout genderThe title is liable to change. I'm tryna make some pun with the word gender; all my ideas as of rn are rather nonsensical I'm afraid.
Comments: 5
Kudos: 6





	1. Laney

Laney had a ...complicated relationship with feminity and being a girl.

She didn't act the way girls were supposed, wasn't prim and proper and contained. She overflew and took up space, was unpalatable and a pain in the ass. But she was a girl through and through, no matter what anyone thought.

It muddled stuff up that she could be feminine at times. She was no lady and people didn't like that, but eventually they decided to confine her to tomboy. That was another cage. She was not some easily categorised object, she was a whole, breathing person.

It was easier in the band. There she was just Laney, not a girl who failed at being a girl. Still, it sucked sometimes. She didn't want to be defined by 'girl' but she didn't want to be one of the guys either. She wasn't a guy after all.

And people didn't get it. They found it hypocritical, that she wanted to be seen as a girl when she went out of her way to not act like one. Except, that was so not true. She was only ever herself. There was no way she could ever not act like a girl; she was a girl which meant however she acted was how a girl acted.

She did rail against what people expected her to do, because she didn't want to be a girl they wanted her to be. She didn't like being told to what to do and was contrary by nature. She didn't want to be labelled, so she refused to meet people's expectations. But sometimes being contrary meant denying herself. And people got new expectations as time went on. These ones didn't fit any better than the previous ones.

It was so frustrating sometimes. At times she wondered if it would have been easier if she was guy, if being a girl was worth all this. Of course, at the end of the day, she was who she was. No matter the annoyances she faced, she couldn't change that.

See, Laney Penn had never had a problem with being a girl. Just with what others wanted that to mean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for context, I've written Lanes as a cis girl.  
> The introspection is in the context of not being stereotypically feminine plus general sexism.


	2. Corey

Corey actually had no idea if he was a guy. This would come as a surprise to most people considering that he wore a binder and took T. The fact of the matter was, he knew exactly how he wanted to be perceived. He wanted people to look at him and see someone masculine.

Same with presentation, no doubts there. He dressed relatively masculine and he liked it. But perception and presentation weren't quite the same as identity. That was the part where he had no clue, anytime he thought about gender directly, his thoughts got all muddled up.

He liked being called a guy and being seen as one. But he also didn't mind if someone called him a girl most of the time. Sometimes it made him sick to his stomach though. Being called a guy never made him feel sick, but somedays he didn't care either way.

He knew wanting to be a guy was basically the first sign of actually being a guy. Except not quite. One could think they want to be a guy when in actuality they are just unhappy with how girls are usually treated. But that wasn't it. When he was treated like a girl, he had never had a real problem with it. His dad was pretty cool and while he knew sexism was a thing, he managed to live unscathed for the most part.

So then his wanting to be a guy was a plain and simple desire. However, he wasn't quite sure whether he wanted to **be** a guy or be **seen** as one. To be perfectly honest, he wasn't really sure if there was a difference.

Wanting to be seen as masculine could be an identity definer too, what with how gender identity, gender presentation and even sexuality could interconnect. Unfortunately, that wasn't quite it either. He didn't mind presenting as feminine. In fact, he sometimes preferred it. He just wanted to be read as a guy even then. Which ought to have cleared things up but, in actuality, made him even more confused.

The end of the matter was that he wasn't quite sure what his gender was. He was content to say he was a guy and he knew how he wanted to live. So what if he couldn't figure out a label? His friends didn't give a damn about all that and he didn't give a damn about the opinions of everyone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Corey is functionally a trans guy (or at least, that's the label that fits best), but gender is a mess and a half to understand. In the end though, being yourself comes first even if you don't know where you fit or what name you come under.
> 
> ((Also me, projecting my gender thoughts? More likely than you think))


End file.
